From the inside

I'm stood in an upstairs council house toilet, the walls are apple-white and there's a little frosted window to the left of me. The lino flooring is cold beneath my feet, the door is painted white and there is a little round lock just below the door handle.

On the floor is a pajama clad child. She has long-dark-hair which half covers her face and she is crouched, panicked-sobbing, just behind the door, her hand stretched out holding the little lock in position.

The child is afraid, and on the other side of the door her mother is ranting; shouting and swearing, banging on the door..."YOU LITTLE GIT" she screeches, "OPEN THIS DOOR"!

I can see her so clearly, The-child, from where I'm standing. I want to reach out and touch her, pull her into my arms and tell her she's safe. I want to hold her until she falls asleep and then carry her from the cold lino floor, past her raging mother and into her bed. I want to sit by her bed, guard her until morning, and stroke her gently back to sleep if she should wake.

If this were possible, would she be comforted do you think?

Or would she see into my mind, as I can hers; and know the worst is yet to come.

***

Thank you as always for allowing me to share

God bless you, and all those you love

Kimmie x

  Tweet

You had to leave - Mark Storey - Guest post #WorldSuicidePreventionMonth

"My name is Mark Story, I am also known as 'Mental Health Music'. 

You can connect with me on Twitter, here >> mental health music ‏@Markstorey65  

'Mental Health Music' MHM, started about a year ago when I was hospitalized after a relapse, I hadn't played guitar for many years, but after finding an old guitar on the ward, I picked it up and started playing - words and music began pouring out of me,

Over the duration of my stay I kept on writing about how I was feeling, and about how my lived experience of mental illness had affected me. 

I continued to write my thoughts down over the coming weeks/months, and then, together with a music friend started recording what was pouring out of me. 

Initially we had no plan, except to record and upload to youtube - That was the beginning of what would eventually develop into a well known mental health awareness campaign. 12 months on MHM is known all over the world and I now have an EP, and a single on itunes and Amazon. 

Today, my music is played on radio stations around the world, and this November 21st; I will be playing at Peerfest 2014. 

My heart goes out to other suffers, my goal is to reach as many as possible with the message of recovery. Also, to tackle the stigma of mental illness, raise awareness, and speak out for the voiceless, the silent majority who suffer in silence around the world. 

So many are afraid to speak out, because of the nature of a traumatic event in their lives, or because they have been a victim of sexual abuse, or through fear of stigma, judgement. 

I am very passionate about mental health awareness, and support all those who speak out for the suffering.

Essentially MHM music is about reaching people where they are and being a comfort to them. 

As MHM grows, I will continue to give as much support as I can to those in need. 

Lets fight the stigma of mental health and suicide. 

No more shame!" 

AGORAPHOBIA #poem

POSITIVE THOUGHT
My hubby, without him I'd be housebound.

PRAYER
I pray for all those who suffer with Agoraphobia; especially those who have no one to steer them through the crowd, Amen.

Thank you for allowing me to share

God bless you and all those you love

Kimmie x

Frozen Yogurt Drops, with added ramble.

Helloooo friends *waves* - It's been a while.

A while since my last post, and a while since writing anything much at all - though I am still jotting a bit, when given half a chance. 

Summer holidays, (as, if you're a mum, I'm sure you know) can be bit full on; add special needs child, and mentally ill mum into the mix, and what you have by the end of the day (in my experience)  is - too knackerbobulated to write - that's my excuse anyway :o) 

However, what I, and Littlie (with the body guards help) are managing, between her dodgy moments, and mine; is some fun.... so while I'm here - explaining my not being here, I may as well share today's fun moments with you. 

Today, we had a home day - Littlies stammer (which has been horrendous over the past week) wasn't too bad, which meant she was less stressed, and I, though 'knackerbobulated' as I said before, have been okay(ish)

We spent the morning wrapping up Christmas presents (I kid you not!) 

Yesterday Littlie bought Christmas presents for Dog, Guinea Pig, 'Dolly', and 'Littlie Monster', and they are now wrapped, and safely stashed in her bedroom; where they will sit collecting dust until November, when her tree goes up o_O

She's keen bless her, she wrote her own Christmas list two months ago (dictated would be more accurate, Littlie, though nearly nine, is unable to write yet) 

This afternoon we made homemade apple crisps (sorry, no pic, they didn't hang around long enough!) -we also made frozen yogurt drops (pic in a bit when Iv'e finished rambling) 

Both ideas were seen on a Sainsbury's advert, and both idea's were easy, fun and virtually mess free. 

For the apple crisps - slice apples thinly, spread onto grease proof paper, on a baking tray, sprinkle with cinnamon (optional) brush with a little oil, and bake - we went with gas mark 3 (fan assisted oven) for half an hour.  

For the Frozen Yogurt Drops - Line a tray with foil, dollop (Let child dollop) teaspoon sized blobs of yogurt onto the tray, then decorate with a piece of fruit - we used blueberries, because they are very low cal (Littlie has to watch the calories) and they also happen to be our favorite. 

Pop your dollops into the freezer, and wait - if you're a Littlie, that's the hard bit :O) 

Well my friends, that's all I can manage for now, I'm off to get clothes off, kettle on, and bum in chair :O) 

Enjoy the rest of your holidays, and if you try these 'easy peasy's' out with your own 'Littlies' do let me know how it goes, I'd love to hear from you. 

Thank you as always for allowing me to share 

God bless you and all those you love 

Kimmie x 

PS - No editing tonight so do please excuse any bad spelling, grammar :) 

PPS - My all time favorite word is Discombobulated (handy really, considering that's how I feel a lot of the time) - my all time favorite made up word is 'Knackerbobulated' (which I also feel much of the time) but I mustn't take credit for this wonderful word, it was made up by a friend of mine and shared to Facebook,  I loved it, so I stole it.... *waves to Joyce* :O) x